I organised the burial service of this Spanish Seabass last night. It was a beautiful memorial for everyone present. Tomato and Onion, along with Lemon, showed their ardent support. We decided on a Meditteranean theme to pay tribute to the Spaniard's birthplace. He's a long way from home and having no relatives here can be such a lonely affair.
After washing and drying Seabass with a kitchen towel, I embalmed him by rubbing sea salt all over, and stuffed thin slices of garlic into the lashes on the body. With bacon strips, I barded him following the ritual of an Egyptian mummification process to prevent dehydration and drying out.
As in all funeral wakes, you get a much better idea of the deceased when everyone shares memories about their dead pal. I found out Seabass had an uncanny versatility to be baked, fried, steamed, poached - filleted or whole. There was some confusion on the scene as to how we should pronounce his name. But call him sea-bus, sea-bes or sea-base, it was clear he was a much respected creature amongst his species and beyond.
More details about him emerged from the deep seas as emotions ran high. As it turned out, Seabass was only 1% Carbohydrate and 37% Fats. Everyone was impressed, in a poignant sort of way. But you hear the oohs and ahhs when it was revealed he was 68% Protein. Lemon was crushed and let out its tears. It was more than we could stomach.
He was finally incinerated at 180 degrees Celsius for 20 minutes, with a bouquet of fresh dill on top.
Thank you for being a blessing to us. Now rest in peas, fish.
This ends my Yu-logy ("Yu" is fish in Chinese).
Read my Open Letter to the Macarons.